Making up after a heated row can be extremely difficult. Oh yes, it's ever so easy for the argument to escalate; one heated, emotionally charged word rolling off the tongue after another, dousing the fire of hurt and self righteous anger with a petrol laced venom.
Yet, once the flames have subsided and the glowing embers of remorse are all that's left, our aptitude for words, even just that one simple sorry, all of a sudden evades us. Silence descends and there it hangs over the situation like a heavy grey cloud just before it rains.
Know what I'm talking about? Maybe this has affected you in the wake of the recent spate of astrological retrogrades, which can raise tensions and cause conflict in our relationships.
Anyway, fall outs affect us all; so with it being National Kiss and Make Up Day, here are three practical ways of offering the metaphorical olive branch to someone you love.
Say sorry using just 'I'
When attempting to make amends, it's important not to make the mistake of saying 'Sorry, but you...' That isn't an apology. That is just reasserting the fact that you believe that you are in the right and is likely to cause further irritation.
Wait until you are ready to accept full responsibility for your actions and make the apology just about that. It is absolutely no use trying to make the apology into some sort of barter for where you think you and they should take blame. Just focus on your side of things and apologise for your own actions.
Timing is everything
Pick your moment carefully to say you're sorry. Apologies are far less likely to be received well if the person is distracted or busy doing something else. Wait for a moment of relative calm and a time that they will be able to listen to you properly.
You may need to use your initiative with this one and actually instigate a time, as waiting for the perfect opportunity to arise could mean the apology never actually happening. Why not put the kettle on and talk over a cuppa?
Choose to forgive
By choosing to forgive, you are choosing to fully live. While our minds are preoccupied with anger and resentment it is not possible to experience life to the full. Hell is not a place that we go to when we die, it is the feelings of anger and remorse that haunts our existence while we are alive. However deeply hurt you've been, for the sake of your own wellbeing you must learn to forgive. This is not to say that what that person did was right. Far from it. It is putting an end to the torment in your own mind, so that you may be free.
This is also necessary for things that you have done. We torture ourselves with non-forgiveness on a daily basis, sometimes for the most trivial of things. Let go of this vicious cycle of self inflicted abuse and learn the power of forgiveness, for yourself and for others. Only then will you start to love fully and realise the true extent of the beauty all around.