The dating scene is a kaleidoscope of ever changing scenarios; some of which are intoxicating, while others are just plain toxic. And, keeping your filter on for the latter kind can take some doing. Online dating has opened a lot of doors, although it's true that some of those 'doors' should be iron bars without a key given the nature of what lurks behind.
'Ghosting' is the word on everyone's lips of late, and not because of Halloween. Apparently, giving the dating disappearing act an appropriate label has provided people with a handle for finally discussing something that previously went under the radar.
And so discuss it, we have. Take the recent fall out from The Late Night Show, where Busy Philipps let slip about Noah Centineo's 'ghostly' past with one of her writers. Oops, thank god his PR team were quick off the mark. Nobody likes a 'ghoster'.
But, what about a 'curver'; a what now? Single folk rejoice, for you now have a fresh piece of terminology to add to your ever growing arsenal for which to call people out. The term is 'curving' and it's the latest dating dis to be doing the rounds in the popular media.
And again, many of us will recognise it from our own experience. It certainly rang some bells for me when I thought of my days in the dating ring, attempting to spar with a less than enthusiastic partner. But, what exactly does it mean?
'Curving' refers to a sly tactic employed by one who has previously shown an interest and then when it suddenly feels too much like commitment and they no longer wish to advance relations; they emotionally disengage. That is all they do though.
This is the literal equivalent of burying your head in the sand. Not quite brave enough to be straight with the other and enjoying the power trip just a little too much to 'ghost out'.
Instead, scraps of correspondence are tossed down, in the way of an odd message here and there, or the empty promise of a meeting some time; just enough to keep that person on the invisible leash of false hope.
Let's be fair here, to those who are of a 'curvy' disposition: Your self esteem must be in the gutter (along with your morals) to be needing such a cheap boost in the ego department; you have our pity, not our hatred.
Anyway, to all well meaning members of the dating club; while it's both useful and necessary to create labels, so as to be able to identify toxic behaviour; the real power lies with you when you realise that a person is curving you. Walk away there and then, without so much as a backwards glance and with your head held high.
Thank u, next.