At one time or another, we've all sat curled up on the sofa, crying over a Hollywood romance. From Titanic's Jack and Rose, to The Notebook's Allie and Noah, we all have a picture in our mind of the kind of dynamic we want to see in our own future relationships. This is a completely normal thing to do, part of knowing yourself is knowing what you want and being strong enough not to settle for anything less. You become delusional however, when you try to fabricate your hopes by force. It's only human to love and want to be loved in return. However, when it becomes your primary focus in life, it can become an issue. Here's why you shouldn't pour all your attention into securing a soul-mate.
1. You waste time
Think about it. In your day-to-day walk, how often do you come across people that you instantly click with? For me at least, that answer is not often at all. Whether it's hours of your day that you spend just thinking about finding "the one", or whether you are actively swiping through faces on dating apps, to no ends; you're sacrificing time that could be better spent working on your career, strengthening your skill-set or nurturing your existing friendships. While your odds of finding someone compatible with you perhaps increases when you invest time and energy into seeking them out, why not channel that energy into pursuing your interests where you are sure to meet like-minded individuals along the way? Swap time spent day-dreaming for time spent in action. Nothing in this life is certain. Indeed, humans are irrational beings. Better to invest time in the aspects of your life that can undoubtedly change, rather than in those that cannot.
2. You forget to smell the roses
Have you heard of this phrase? "Smelling the roses" means to stop and be present. To appreciate all the little things in life, all of the beauty already around you. This could mean the family and friends you see on a daily basis, the career opportunities you have in sight, or any weekly hobbies and activities that you regularly practice. How can you fully relish these blessings in life, these precious moments, if you're constantly searching for something more? Work on sustaining you're own happiness by enjoying the journey. When that special someone does arrive, it will just be a bonus.
3. Love doesn't run
When you meet the right person, you'll want to walk beside each other, side by side. Love is not a race. There should be no exhausting pursuit, no elation once you've crossed the finish line, when the person you have your eye on finally reciprocates your feelings. The person meant for you will fall for you without any effort being made on your part. It will just make sense.